Hippie Horror Fizzles into Ridiculousness in Tie Die (PANIC)
Title: Tie Die
First Non-Festival Release: TBD
Director: Morgan Miller
Writer: Morgan Miller
Runtime: 80 Minutes
Starring: John Bloom, Llyod Kaufman, Andie Cartwright
Where to Watch: Check out where to find it here
This film’s review was written after its screening at the Panic Film Festival in 2025.
Every now and then an audience clues in that a movie is so bad it becomes good with the right people or in the right setting. Other times, a creative team might opt to intentionally make a film that mimics that aesthetic. Sometimes, it’s just bad.
A Park Ranger (Lloyd Kaufman) and a Sheriff (John Bloom) work together to solve a series of, what appears to be, terrifying bear attacks. As the pair get closer to the truth, they’ll find that the answer is weirder than they ever could have imagined. Along the way, a group of hippies on their way to a music festival find themselves crossing paths with the true threat.
Painfully unfunny, Tie Die is a bargain-bin horror comedy that drags more than it excites.
The mystery of Tie Die unfurls quite quickly, bleeding into a story that is not nearly as interesting or quirky as the creators hope you think. Shifting from its unrelated opening sequence, the story devolves into a strange backwoods horror film. Its antagonist is hard to take seriously and the motive behind his killings is even more eyebrow-raising. A cool concept for sure, the execution is laughable to say the least. It’s almost as if Tie Die is trying to cross Saw and Sound of Violence, doing neither justice. It is an odd combo, and it never materializes into a coherent storyline the further it plays.
Goofy, one-dimensional characters given earnest performances, Tie Die makes no apologies for its silliness. Never reaching for anything more than mediocre, the cast make Tie Die an excruciating experience. With most of them visibly excited or sleepwalking through the film, there is nothing to hold onto, which is disappointing given the actual art of comedic timing being completely ignored. Even its killer lacks the gravitas to hold anyone’s attention. Between a poor performance, lame motive, and bad writing, the problems of Tie Die begin to compound.
The fun is meant to be in the ridiculousness and the gore, but the empty calorie horror isn’t satiating at all. Typical of films of its ilk, the unseriousness is the selling point. Glacial pacing knocks the wind out of any attempt to build tension. The comedy rarely lands, and the horror never materializes. Lacking direction, the silliness of the slasher fizzles out quickly. Once lost, the momentum is impossible to regain, making the rest of Tie Die a slog. Some passable gore and amusing ideas aside, there is little that Tie Die has truly going for it.
Bright spots in Tie Die are few and far between considering all of the story and stylistic choices that make it a Z grade movie. The casting of John Bloom as the Sheriff is arguably the best part of Tie Die. Known better as Joe Bob Briggs, Bloom imbues enough energy to make the Sheriff feel real, which is quite the contrast with the rest of the cast. That being said, if the biggest selling point of your film is a guest cameo that amounts to barely more than a minute of screen time, it says a lot about the production.
For those that love Troma or Full Moon pictures, Tie Die will likely be right up your alley. While not entirely unwatchable, it is a mess all the same. Obnoxious in conception and delivery, both its horror and comedy feel underbaked and underserved, calling for endurance to finish its strange story. Fans of intentionally bad movies will revel in the absurdity of Tie Die and anyone else will do best to stay far away. Who knows? If you are undeterred by low quality filmmaking, Tie Die might be the next best thing to show with a crowd who appreciates its specific brand of filmmaking. And you can feel free to drown out the noise of anyone who has anything to say back to you.
Overall Score? 3/10
